Be united and Rejoice in the Lord ( Everyday Emmanuel)

Philippians 4:1,4-7

Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends!

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

If anyone were to ask me what is God's most concerned of, the answer is His church. The unity of the church, the love among brethren and the strength gathered for evangelism. Even though there are many problems,a lot of challenges and weaknesses in the church but Paul still love the church very much but Jesus bought it with great price. Because of this Truth, Paul finds joy in the church. How do you view your church and brethren? We must see them with a thanksgiving heart more than their weakness. Because without them, there won't be God's church, without them we won't know how to grow in love since through love needs to undergo test.

In areas that we are unhappy about the church or brethren, we must learn to find God in it- His love, help and forgiveness. 

Paul pleaded the church that no matter what the circumstances is we must rely on God to rejoice always. If we are in pain now, I urge to to rely on God to rejoice. You do not rejoice through hypnotizing yourself or fake it. A rejoicing heart must come through relying on God. You must know how to rely on God. After knowing the Truth, we must think through and make decisions through the Truth in all things. Do not let it remain as a head knowledge and rely on your flesh. Do not focus on your problems, the Truth tells us that firstly, no matter what our circumstances are, our God is a living God. He is always with His children and there are no goodness that comes apart from Him.Regardless of the circumstances, God's help and guidance will also be present. Paul wrote this while he was in prison, even in such hardships he still managed to rejoice.
After knowing the Truth, we must seek His will in our circumstances. God is a living God and He will definitely help you. We must seek Him then obey, keep seeking and obeying. Do not let temptations, worries and hatred remain in your heart. Once you obeyed what He wants you to do, God will definitely tell you what is the next step.
However, if you depend on your flesh you will not have peace at this moment and you also won't be able to know what to do next.
In all situation, we must pray, seek and give thanks. In other words, through prayers we know His perfect will and give thanks to Him for revealing His will. When you communicate with God this way, the Holy Spirit will strengthened us, teach us and guide us. Then we will experience the peace from Him that transcends all understandings. When we know how to pray and seek His perfect will, one day we will be able to get out of our problems.
Everyday Emmanuel (23/12/13)

How to Eliminate the Spirit of Accusation ? ( Everyday Emmanuel)

Holy Spirit lives in those who believes in Christ Jesus. If we have the heart to seek God, Holy Spirit will definitely instruct us what we should do. But why do we sometimes fall into the state of accusation?

The accusing spirit cause us to lose to our freedom, gives us a slave mindset and feel oppressed. 

Romans 8: 15

The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, " Abba, Father."

2 Corinthians 3:17 

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

We are living in the visible world but at the same time there is also the spiritual realm. We get accused because in the spiritual realm, the accuser influences our spirit. If we live by His will and make God as the center of our focus then we will not get accused so easily.

How can a person get into a state of accusation? 

1. He has sinned. So, Satan will keep bringing his sin before God and keep accusing him. 

2. Because of self righteous and do not live in Jesus's righteousness. Therefore, he loses his grace.

3. When someone commits a small sin, he didn't cleanse himself immediately but let the sins accumulate in him then slowly he loses his strength to fight sin. 

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 

When man is accused, they feel that they didn't do what they should do but kept doing what they shouldn't do. Or they feel that they did not obey God's therefore God do not love them anymore. In short, their spirit has lost the covenant and love of God and do not believe His promises. Their thoughts are all about what they have done wrong, their relationship with God is broken so they are unable to come before God. But actually all these are not in line with the Truth. 

Of course, no one who likes to stay in such state. God Himself is more concerned of seeing us being set free from such state. 

In order to eliminate the spirit of accusation, we must

1) Use the blood of Christ, only through it we can restore the spirit of sonship

There are some sins that we might not be able to overcome  immediately but we need a willingly heart that will turn to God, so do not hardened your heart before God and ask God for a broken and contrite heart. 

When we repent before God, the accusing spirit will leave us. Satan can no longer accuse us.

2) God's truth must be exalted in our hearts- this means that God's words must be sovereign in our hearts

We cannot add or remove anything in the gospel. If we hold onto our feelings, inabilities, limitations, problems more than the word of God, then it will prevent us from relying on God completely. 

Therefore we need to confirm the Truth in our hearts until it can overcome all the obstructions that prevent us from going to God. 

3) After knowing His will, we must acknowledge it because it is the answer from God

If after praying we still do not have peace, it could be because what we pray for is different from what God wants to reveal to us. Even so, do not stop going to God but instead remain humble and pray for a right direction. 

4) Lastly, obey God and stop remaining in the accused state. 

Keep examining the state of our spirit and be sensitive to the convictions of the Holy Spirit. The convictions will be more obvious after we have understood and accept the Truth ( His covenant). Then be humble in obeying God and receive strength from Him through submission. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8owt_FbTQgg

How to develop sweet relationship with God ( Everyday Emmanuel)

God is with His children everyday. And this is the relationship that will lasts forever. Even thought all of our conditions and timetables are different but as long as we are willing to draw near to God, He will draw close to us too. So, the purpose of our lives is to establish such a relationship.

John 6:51,56

I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.

Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them.

The cross actually restores our relationship with the Father.

John 15:5,12

" I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

The verse shows that God is with us and is also talking about relationships.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

Jesus asked his disciples to love one another and this is also a form of relationship.

1. Our Father is most concerned of relationships

So, Satan likes to attack our relationships, cause us to forget about the relationship hence unable to receive love from God. Man became afraid of God, fear of getting bad luck and disciplines and have slave mentality. Slowly, it will be hard for man to not look down on himself and became unable to accept the love of God. Man to man's relationships will also be broken. God came to find us first and died on the cross for us , so after believing in Him, our relationships are restored.

2. After reconciliation with God through Jesus, we must restore the relationship.

How to restore this relationship? Through prayers- confirmation prayer. In prayer, we must restore our relationship with God, man and ourselves. We are all blessed. When we have to deal with a difficult situation, we must remember that our Father will not abandon us like orphans. When we encounter a problem or in our weaknesses, we must look back into the Bible that said God still love the prostitute and the adulterous woman.

So, we must not look down on ourselves. God loves all the sheep that belongs to Him. If when we pray, we discover things that are not in line with the Truth of us as the child of God, we must quickly remove it. For instance, if you fear God , it is the wrong spirit or when you have done something wrong and is afraid to face God, feel accused and worried when we didn't pray because we fear having bad luck or when we keep looking at outcomes, we will be afraid of failures, if we are not diligent enough in serving, we are afraid that God will not bless us.

We must be sure that out of the love of God, when we have done something wrong, He will discipline us but His anger will not last and He will definitely forgive us. If we did not pray, God will use whatever situation to prompt us into prayer, so it is never about having bad luck.

The relationship we have with God is all about love and there's no fear. When we have restored our relationship with Him, then through His love, our relationship with men will also be reconciled. The main content of prayer is to build His kingdom, benefit His people,glorify and testify for Him. With this in our prayer, there's no need to fear.

3. Lastly, we must develop this relationship.

The best time to do so is during trials,tribulations and weaknesses. Trials and attacks happen because our relationship with God is too important. In temptations, we must realize that it is not real and temporary only. We must keep in mind that being able to fill with God's words will enable us to triumph over our situation. Being away from God is scarier than committing sin, therefore we must confess our sins and asked to be cleanse by Him. When we judge and get angry at others, at the same time we must know that actually we are also weak in many areas. Since God can forgive us, why can't we forgive others of their sins?

Therefore, we must treat every trial as an experience from God and He has a perfect answers for us in it. Whenever situation we are in, we must first come before His throne of mercy, reassure our relationship, discover His will and believe that the problem is already solved by Him and we will see our fruits.

Prayer is not a duty but rather it is for us to find out His perfect will. We will not be happy just merely getting our problems solved, but true joy comes from knowing His answers.

How To Overcome Your Great Difficulties ( Everyday Emmanuel)

In our Christian lives,we often encounter some difficulties for example, we feel like a failure, timid, disobedient, weak, have many problems so how then can we build His kingdom and benefit His people

with such conditions? These thoughts make us feel helpless and stop us from moving forward with God and make us. This happens because we are still focus on not being able to do what we should be doing. Paul who was greatly used by God also have similar experience. 

Romans 7 :18 

For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 

Romans 7: 24

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death. 

So then, I myself in my mind am slave to God's law, but my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

Paul has understood the greatest mystery of the cross.

Romans 8:1

Therefore, there is no more condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. We must learn to receive the unmovable love and covenant from Jesus so that we can have a heart that is not accused, not afraid of failure and without pressure or stress. Then with this heart we can rely on the Holy Spirit to carry out God's good works.

1. We must ask ourselves, why are we always unable the great difficulties?

We must understand that our hearts have been receiving insinuation. For example, what I am doing now is not God's will so I will not receive His blessings,  I do not have any abilities to do what God wants me to do or feel that the situation we are in is extraordinarily unpleasant and its not that easy to be solved. These insinuation cause us to worry and unable to concentrate in our daily lives. Slowly, we will lose our sight on the covenant and love and start to react according to feelings. The deceiving thoughts will make us hide from God and men. 

2. It is only through Holy Spirit that will help us overcome the difficulties

Then how to rely on Holy Spirit. We must always remember that all great difficulties do not come from the situation we are in but rather its from our heart because we have not receive answers. Answers come from making a covenant with God. The covenant and love from Jesus is never changing. No matter how difficult a situation may be, God's word will not fade away. When we seek Him through His covenant , we will definitely know His will. 

Directional will: All our conditions,problems and  past are for the Kingdom. Without any problems we won't be able to understand His salvation for us and to testify for Him. 

Perfect timetable: Some trials require time and process in order to mature our faith and He is preparing something better for us. So do not be disheartened. 

God's will in our condition:  Sometimes we experience things that are unpleasant so that it drives us into prayer. 

After we make covenant with God in such manner, and discover His will in everything then we will be able to overcome the difficulties we have.

3. All things are possible through the Holy Spirit

How? We must hold on to his love and the 4 Gospelization and make it our perspective everyday in order for us to die to ourselves. The death and resurrection of Christ has show us the power of the cross. In Jesus, there are no difficulties. No matter how difficult a situation is, we must learn from the Holy Spirit to not be accused. Learn the perfect will of God in our everyday living.

Everyday Emmanuel (2/12/13)

The Sweetness of True Repentance (Everyday Emmanuel)

Many people have misunderstanding on repentance,they do not like to hear about repentance and find it hard to repent. They thought repentance is about feeling guilty or apologizing to God. True repentance is actually the sweetest thing that can happen in your life. When we are exhausted in our life problems, true repentance help us to gain strength from God's throne to move on with our lives. 

True repentance is simple terms meaning turning to the Truth of God. It is  a restoration of a believing spirit through believing in every word of God. True repentance is the changing from a disbelief spirit into a believing spirit.For example, if I repent from stealing it doesn't mean I just stopped stealing only. This is because I may fall into a different kind of sin. True repentance happens when I truly believe that God is the only provider and I feel satisfied in my spirit then slowly I hate stealing.When this happens, you faith will grow and your relationship with God too.

Psalm 103:2-5

Praise the Lord,my soul, 

and forget not all his benefits

who forgives all your sins

and heals all your diseases,

who redeems you life from the pit 

and crowns you with love and compassion,

who satisfies your desires with good things 

so that your youth is renewed like eagle's.

    

David's repentance is going back to His benefit and be satisfied with God's love and compassion. This is the sweetest true repentance. But Satan always stop us from repenting. How does he stop us?

1.What obstruct us from true repentance?

You think that God won't forgive you 

Because you believed so, therefore you remain in accusations. But God says, when we acknowledge our own struggle or weakness, it means that we are also acknowledging our disbelief. He will forgive all our sins and heals us.

You think that God don't understand what you are going through or needs

You believed that therefore you do not believe that whatever God has given you its the best. What you can see is only your failures, problems and weaknesses. 

You do not believe God has His own timetable

That's why you remain disheartened and hopeless.
2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is slow in keeping his promise, just as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone come to repentance.

The timetable of God is not up yet because He wants us to quickly repent so we do not remain in accusation.

You think that you can wait and things will get better

What you fail to see its that God is actually equipping us so that we will be used by Him in the future.

2. What is True repentance?

When we struggle in our spirit not because you have fall short of the standard and expectations of the men but have fall short of what God said. Our spirit is related to the word of God. For example, God ask me to love my brethren but even though I have done nothing wrong to them but because I cannot love them that's why I struggle in my spirit. So if our lifestyle, habits and decisions are not in syn with God's word then we will definitely have struggle. And we must acknowledge this struggle.

After that you realize you have no choice but to believe. Obedience is about believing and not about you being able to do so much. 

Then you nail that flesh of yours- you do not satisfy your flesh by not giving in to it. For example, I have influenced by the drama series, no matter how I have tried I still cannot stop watching it. It is only through believing His promise. His promise tells me that I will be used by Him, then it generates an inner strength so I do not want to be influenced anymore by the drama. Then keep confirming and believing, the influence will then slowly reduced.

3.We need to know that we cannot keep hypnotizing ourselves not to worry about the problems. When we do this, the problem will still remain. It is only through confirming and believing every word of God and all His attributes. Then even though the situation does not change but we will realize that all things work for the good to them that love God.

In situation we are put in is for us to experience the wide, long, high and deep of His love If there are areas in our lives that we are still struggling, we must learn to turn to, believe and confirm His promise. 

Here is the link

09/11/2013 Everyday Emmanuel

Delight in the Lord's goodness ( Everyday Emmanuel)

The goodness of the Lord is everlasting. 

Psalm 100:5 

For he is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. 

Maybe we cannot feel the goodness of God because of our own problems or areas in our lives that we are still adamant at, but one day God will prove it to us. 

God's goodness is that He saves us and He won't abandon us or ignore us just because we are disobedient. If God removes some things that we really like in our lives then He will definitely give us something better. He is actually helping us to rise up and walk the correct path when He allows problem in our lives. These are the goodness of the Lord and we must find joy in His goodness and not through getting what we want. Whatever we want is temporary and always changing,it is only His goodness that is everlasting. 

When we don't find joy in His goodness, we will feel bored or numb at His words and remain in our struggles. 

Psalm 37:1-2 

Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass, they will wither soon, like green plants they will soon die away.

1. When we are envious of the world, we will follow the ways of the world. 

So, we need to ask ourselves, what are we looking for today? And the answer will tell us the state of our spirit today.

If we only want to get our problems solved then we wouldn't want to see God's perfect will. We will lose our joy and satisfaction in Him easily.When we are always envious of the world, we will make our decisions according to it, we will go by our feelings and make many wrong decisions. Then our bondage will get stronger, making it harder for us to submit.

2. We need to rely, seek and dwell in His will. 

Psalm 37:3-5

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desire of your heart. Commit your ways to the Lord, trust in the Lord and He will do this. 

God will give us timely provisions, help, anointing, etc. If we are unhappy, fearful, worried about our future, accused because of our old habits then we are still relying on ourselves and what the world can offer us. We are not delighting in God's goodness.

Turn to the promise of God. All those feelings come from a disbelief spirit and our flesh. Those who turn to the Lord will receive His grace, love, strength then only our spirit will change and we will dwell in His will. 

God says take delight in Him and He will give us the desires of our hearts. It does not mean that when we are happy then only God will give us our desires but it means delight in our submission and dwell in His will- believe that His guidance is the best. 

Psalm 37:23-24

The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him though he may stumble, he will not fall for the Lord will uphold him with his hand.

3. We will not fall.

We will get discouraged, feel weak, worried but we must let God prove that His goodness will carry us through. The greatest blessing is He won't let us fall completely. God will never leave us, just like how He didn't abandon king David. 

Don't ask God when He will provide, bless us or fulfill His promise. This will make us tired and lost heart. We can never be faster than God in accomplishing things. Put our values on the eternal kingdom even though the world is constantly tempting us. We must hold on to God and submit to Him then He will prove to us.

This is the link!

07/11/2013 Everyday Emmanuel

Through Prayers I Do All Things ( Everyday Emmanuel)

I don't remember the last time I did a post on Everyday Emmanuel. To be honest, I haven't been translating for quite sometime. But since I am doing it again, I feel that it will be nice to share it here as well.

Many people use prayers to get their desired outcomes or to change their situation. God ask us to pray so that we can enter a state of being Holy Spirit filled. When a person is Holy Spirit filled, regardless of whatever situation he is in or whatever conditions he has he will still be able to rejoice and testify 

for the Lord. 

I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at least you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what is it to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through him who gives me strength. 

In the last verse, it does not mean that after he prayed, his situation changed. Most of the time, it doesn't change at all.  What is absolute is that Holy Spirit comes upon him.

The secret in that whenever he prays , he sees that 

1. Every of his situation is the most perfect. 

He confirms in his spirit that God is the Jehovah Jireh.

2.God still give him joy and a satisfied heart. 

If he has little, he spends less, if he has more, he will also spend accordingly. When he is constantly hungry, he knows that God wants him to pray.

His focus is in heaven and his heart is focus on listening to God so the Holy Spirit gives him pure and immense joy that enable him to see God's love in everything. 

3. He gives thanks for his faith

Not give thanks because his problems were solved. Paul is more happy in meeting God in his spirit than having his problem solved.He delights in following God more than getting the praises and approval from men; happy to see God's help rather than men's help.

Maybe our motives are wrong when we pray, we put a lot of focus on the physical outcome. 

We should focus on getting our hearts and minds influenced by God's words so that we can discern and make judgement in all things through the Truth. 

Paul only wants to see the Emmanuel God is his prayer. Therefore, he finds whatever he seeks.

This is the video. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JpSY8s1ns4&feature=youtu.be

C

I had 2 weeks of break after my finals before they announce the results. The consequences of failing would be staying back for about 6 weeks to resit the paper and hopefully you passed in order to make it into year 2.

After my finals, I was very upset because I did very badly. I couldn’t recall things that I have diligently  studying  during my study break, things that I pay little attention to came out whereas those that I deem important didn’t come out. Since its final, the paper was hard. But I know it wouldn’t be a problem for those people who have been consistent all these while. Anyway, I got really upset about it . So when I saw people posting online about their concern and worries because they are afraid that they won’t make it and rant about the stupid mistakes they did in finals, I got really annoyed. Of all people I feel that I have all the rights in the world to worry and complain since I am the one who have failed the tests for 3 times while they are the one who kept passing. Who are more likely to fail? They  or me?

Actually I thought failing isn’t that bad. At least we are given a second chance to redeem ourselves. Yes and no. Because the whole process of repeating the paper takes up to 6 weeks ( the entire break we have) the mini project that is supposed to be carried out that time would be carry forward to next year. And that means that you’ll be doing it with the juniors. Think of the embarrassment  and the feelings of being labelled as the ‘failure’. So, it got me worried even more. For me, it doesn’t stop there it also means that I will have difficulty going to church because my housemate won’t be around and I will need to walk to class alone, eat alone, be alone all by myself.

I was worried and scared because I really couldn’t do the paper even questions that were repeated from the previous tests. I let myself drown in numbness for a while. I know the voice of the Holy Spirit was always there, it prompted me to pray.

When I prayed, I thought about the nonsense answers I wrote, the amount of questions I couldn’t answered and the number of times I can’t recall and feel that failing will be the outcome. I told my friend that I need to pray to prepare myself so that it’ll be easier for me to accept my failure and I need to know why God allows it. But she said that I haven’t even fail yet. And my actions show that I am second guessing God. It’s true what she told me but I couldn’t get passed it before she didn’t see how badly I did. Only God knows what nonsense I wrote.

The night before I got my results, I prayed to God. I asked Him to help me surrender all to Him and no matter what the result is, it is the best for me. I was challenged by my own thoughts that asked “ It is still the best result that God prepare for you if you fail?”. Yes it is, even if I failed. And that is what I meant by trusting God and really believing that He will always give us the best in everything. It is not the world’s best but God’s best. I reminded myself that I have a Master and He got everything planned out for me. When I think of how to prepare myself and make plans I am already making myself the master of my own life.  God is the alpha and omega so how can He not know what will happen in my life and if He already knows then why I am planning my life myself as though I know what will happen. When I begin to confirm the Truth, I feel relieved. There is really no need to worry about anything at all. And by worrying, my results won’t change. I quit thinking about what would happen next and to just live moment by moment and enjoy the daily grace that He has prepared for me. I try to be simple- to believe the Truth and without questioning more , to simply believe without doubting. I asked God to help me see that He is more real than the situation I am in, His promises is more true than anything.

I found several post it that I wrote about a year ago, some verses and some personal notes incidentally while I was cleaning my room. It says “ Always remember how you got into UTAR, not by your results but with God’s mighty hand”. God brought me here and He will be responsible for it. I choose to believe that if God wants me to pass, I will pass. Simple faith based on the absolute truth no more ‘buts’, ‘what ifs’...

It’s always when the situation is doomed or when we feel absolutely helpless then we resort to God because we know that we have tried everything and now we just have to leave it to God. Its best if we can turn to God in both good times and bad times. We often become laid back during the good times when the sea is calm and we take things lightly. I feel that it shouldn’t be the way because those good times are meant for us to get ourselves equipped with His words because we will need it when the storms come.

 I recalled the very first time that God let me pass my test the night before I prayed to be submissive. And I thought “ Hey, I’ll use back the same method because it works that time”and it really did.

I got the happiest C in my life. I just passed I was very close to failing because after the C it’ll be the F. I am not those smart people that never got any Cs in my life, I have but this is the happiest. Honestly, no student will be happy with a C everyone wants an A or at least a B.I was very relieved that God has given me the grace to pass. I know its impossible to make it. I need to get exactly 60 marks for my finals in order to pass and I usually get much lower than that. I will always remember this incident whenever I feel worried about my exams.

I realized that we get the most answers when we are down  because during that time we are more willing to listen, to die and to learn. When God becomes the only hope we have, be comforted because He will not disappoint us. A week ago, my Emmanuel Group leader shared how she failed this test and she told God that she served in so many ministry why did she fail. She didn’t mean that if you served you won’t fail. But after that she received an email that there was a mistake and she got a better result. And sh

So when I was worried, I thought about her. But I got accused first. I told God that I really want to serve Him, its just that I am not good enough and that He didn’t give me the chance. I am serving in the Toddler’s class and the Youth now. I want to do more not because I thought the more ministry I serve the greater the blessings, its just that I really want to share God’s word to people and I really like to serve in church. I don’t know how to explain, I guess its just a natural instinct in us as the children of God to offer our service to the Father’s house. Like the mother’s instincts to care and protect her child, very natural.

God told me that as long as I am doing my best in the little tasks that He has given me, it will be good enough. Focus on little submission and little tasks, if I do well, more will be assigned to me when I am more spiritually mature.

Besides, I am sharing His word now through my blog, this is also what He has assigned me to do. I don’t know how many people and who actually read what I write but I guess when you do God’s work you only need to do as you are told and leave the outcome to Him. After all, I am His servant and He is my Master.

I am very happy now, I will officially be a year 2 student in May. It’ll be very exciting and  I can’t wait to see how God  will lead me this year. Year 1 was tough, I shed many tears along the way and God was with me. And He will always be with me. In this short period of time, I feel more set free. I was very bitter about some issues but I am not as affected anymore because I know  God loves me and will definitely use me.  I find myself more willing to let go and die. And I can assure you that dying to yourself is a beautiful thing. When you die, you are allowing Christ to live in you and what can be more beautiful than that.

The letter C now reminds me of 2 things : Child of God and His Covenant.

Ps: I got baptized on the 17^th of March  and my dad attended my baptism.

The Disbelief Spirit

I  have never thought that I think very lowly of myself. I am not a super confident person but I do not think that I have very low self esteem. But I was wrong, very wrong. It took me some time to convince myself that I have low self worth but at the same time I have very high expectations on myself. And if I don't meet my own expectations, I beat myself up. I think I have mentioned it before that my confidence is tied to how well I do in exams or even how happy I am with the way I dressed up for that particular day. I am just as fragile as some china piece that would break into a million pieces when hit with the slightest force. I'm not exaggerating but I'm probably more fragile than that. I take jokes too seriously at times, I some how feel that it meant something more or that he/she is actually hinting me that I need to change.
There are also times where people around me is so insensitive with their words. They asked questions that I do not know how to respond because I do not have answer to why I am obsolete, always learning but never understanding, seemingly hardworking but results always show otherwise. I wonder if they know that those remarks are very hurtful. Whether they mean it or not, apologize or not, the damage is done and its irreversible. Those things pulls my self esteem even lower. I subconsciously compare myself to many people and end up putting myself in a miserable state. I don't understand why I am always not good enough, why is it that I am so different ( I think differently ) , why is it that every effort I put in seems futile and the lists could go on and on till the cows come home.

I tell God how different my situation is every time, how bad the situation is compared to the previous one but God only told me one thing. That all outcome is the same. Its still the best for me because God's promises said so. And that every solution is the same that is to simply trust and obey.

 People always tell me that after I have done His will, I just have to simply trust and surrender all to Him. Leave the outcome to Him. But my question will always be the same, '' What if I haven't be doing God's will? or rather at times I am certain that I have not done God's will and that question is not on whether have I put in my best or not. When its simply because it was hard for me, I got chicken and back off, I got too lazy to persevere through, I simply do not want to obey and most commonly- The mind is willing but the body is weak, my flesh got the best of me. 

I wished that I am not so complicated that I will just take in what God says directly instead or over thinking and analyzing it. I need to stop all those thoughts. 

Those thoughts are not just tiring, it has been giving me the wrong idea of who God really is. God is not complicated but I always complicate Him. I always think that God will not bless me because of this and that, God will fail me in my tests because of whatsoever possible reason I can think of. And before every outcome is revealed, I always have the tendency to think that its going to end badly. I am never positive. I believe that's what most people think. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. But how much can you prepare? If I were to spend my time worrying or preparing myself for the worst possible outcome while waiting for my results, wouldn't I be wasting my time if the outcome is otherwise? Then all those time I allow myself to be tormented by the thoughts that I would fail and preparing what to do next would be in vain. That is pure stupidity. 

I remembered what I told my Pastor two years ago when she asked me what am I going to do while waiting for my results. I said I will punish myself for not putting more effort in my studies. Obviously, it was stupid but its still how I feel at times. I feel the need to punish myself for things that I know I should have done it better. And knowing that God forgives me for my sins and knows my weaknesses I feel compel to punish myself even more since He will not do it. This is very sick and twisted.  Not sure if I am the only weird one who thinks like that. I just feel that I do not deserve any pleasures, treats, any form of happiness and that I am just supposed to be without any feelings or just bitter. This is the mentality of a slave. Slaves are the lowest form of human beings and their only job is to serve, they have limited or no freedom and do not deserve any forms of pleasures. 

I have not been living like a glorified child of God even after accepting Christ. I am tired of fearing that I will not meet up to His expectations, tired of feeling crappy from my own thoughts. And its time I put an end to this.

I have confirmed repeatedly that all problems I have only has one root problem and that is the disbelief spirit. Actually initially, I feel a little offended when I was told about the disbelief spirit. I was like " What do you mean by disbelief? I believe in Jesus okay. I know he is not fictional and he is God. I believe in died for my sins. pfft".

But when I think deeper as I quiet myself, I know it is true that I have a great disbelief in me. If I believe that He died for my sins and I am already forgiven then why do I still punish myself. Why do I blame Him when things didn't turn out good when He says that whatever He gives me will be the best. It all points down to the disbelief spirit. When I compare myself with others or unsatisfied I am already in a disbelief state because I do not believe that I am fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm 139:14. 

Why should I compare myself when the one who made me already see my as perfect?

From now on, I will be more careful with my spirit. The disbelief spirit is cunning, it deceives you into taking the untruth as the truth or distorting the truth.That is also how gradually, the mentality of the slave is formed.But in order to discern we need to know the right Gospel.  And in order to know the truth rightly, you'll need to pray and be diligent in reading the Bible and listen to messages. Its not easy just as Jesus's said but its definitely worthwhile. 

Only by God's Spirit can Things be Accomplished

Our God is concerned of His temple but this temple is not the physical temple that can be seen. In today’s context, this temple refers to the believer’s inner life. We are His temple and He dwells in our hearts.

Our temple in what God is most concerned of today. Today, what are we concerned of? Is it eternal matters or the Kingdom’s matter? Whose voice are you listening today? The voice from our own motives and ambition or the God in us.

No matter how short is the time we have believed in God or how small is our faith, God do look down on us. God is concerned of your life and our spirit. Even in the smallest things or tasks that you have obeyed God, he will definitely reward you. So when Haggai asked his people to build the house of the Lord, at the same time another prophet Zechariah was raised up too.

Even if we only have been assigned a small task by the God, He still values our submission. 

 So he said to me, “ This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty.

Zechariah 4:6

When the Isarelites first returned to build His kingdom, they faced various problems. First, the remnants that came back are very few. So they limited man power while the project ( to build the Temple ) is a massive one. At the same time, they also need to deal with the attacks of the enemy surrounding them. Therefore it seems to be an impossible task to finish the project.

Are we facing a similar situation now? In our lives and serving, we may face with the internal and external problems. At some point when we get so discouraged that we just want to give up or run away from the problem. If we are such problem today, let me tell you that our problem does not come from the challenges in the problem but because we are relying on the wrong thing. It is true that our problem is great, we have many issues to deal with. We get discouraged in our situation when we start seeing our own capability and start counting the resources we have. This is because we are depending on man’s strength and power. But God says that we must rely on His Spirit.

The next question is : How do I rely on His Spirit? Firstly, relying on His Spirit is believing His covenant. His covenant says that He is with us. God will not lead us into a situation whereby there is only a dead end or we go through the entire situation in pain only. On the contrary, God leads us into a situation whereby we have no choice to believe in Him in order to go through the problem. So when we believe, the peace and strength that follows suit comes from the Holy Spirit. Then God will reveal His perfect will to us and tell us how to make decisions and  arrange all things. Sometimes God’s perfect will is like a big picture while other times He reveals His will little by little and guides us through.

When we believe and obey, strength, wisdom and timely guidance will definitely be given to us in order for us to go through our struggles.

Are you disheartened and discouraged at the moment? May the word of God strengthened you. Do not rely on yourself but His Spirit.

Once again, God has spoken. In the midst of preparing for my finals, this message came forth and ease all the worries in me. Worries come from fear. And when you have worries, you seek human interventions. Looking at the amount of chapters I need to cover in less than 20 days time, I feel very disheartened knowing that it is an impossible task. I am very tempted to stay up whole night to revise and try to cover as much as I could. But I know, this is my way and not God’s way. With the clock ticking and fears that overwhelm me, I am very tempted to use my own solution.

But in today’s message, God asked us not to look and count our resources (in my case its the days to my finals) but rely on His Spirit. And the first step I need to do is to believe in what He says. I believe that God is with me in this struggle I am facing. I must keep restoring His truth. When I believe, naturally the Holy Spirit will guide me how to study effectively and teach me how to discern what is important and what is not. Things are easier said than done but action speaks louder than words. We will not experience His guidance just by listening or reading, we must take the step first: Believe in Him and Do His will.

ps: I can't seem to upload the video here but you can find it in the Life Church and Missions website. This post is translated from today's Everyday Emmanuel (06/03/2013)

Judging & Sinning

Everyone of us is a sinner with many different weaknesses. This is a plain truth that I know long ago. Yet, I couldn't help it that I often magnified those sins and weaknesses I see in those sharing the word or  just anyone that I think should be more spiritual than I do. Do not get me wrong, I am not expecting those people to be perfect and all holy moly. I just thought, they should behave more -decently or appropriately? I do not know the exact word for it. Maybe deep down inside me I just feel that they should be as close to being perfect and sinless as possible. I always wish to see perfection in them. I want to see them obeying the laws and every word. To set themselves as a good example for people like me. I expect a lot from those whom  I look up to. And each time I see their weaknesses, I judged. I feel bad after that but still can't seem to shake off those thoughts. 

I do not understand why God allow me to see them in their weaknesses. Isn't God afraid that they might stumble me with their actions? I could have taken it the wrong way- like perhaps, since God didn't discipline them and they are still doing very well in their lives, so I guess its okay to sin like that. I am not perfect. I sin everyday, I struggle daily with it. I fight, give up than gave in to my sins. Not exactly a good Christ ambassador and neither very glorifying as a child of God. I am very much confused at God. Is God closing an eye at their sins? 

No. My carnal eyes have asked me to see what all man sees. Man sees other's sin and judged. And when they share God's word, man disqualify them from sharing because of the sins they have committed whether in the past or present. But who are we to judge others when we are sinners ourselves? Please do not weigh the sins and justify it with our fallen mind and point fingers at those whom you think have committed a greater sin than you do, all these make no sense at all. There is no such thing as small sin or big sin. Stealing is not less sinful than committing murder or adultery. 

Our God is holy God, He does not tolerate sin. But He is also a merciful God and His grace far exceeds our sins. 

For sin shall no longer be your master,because you are not under the law,but under grace. 

Romans 6:14

Love covers all wrong 

Proverbs 10:12

I am sinning just like them but that didn't change God's love for me. He didn't disown me because of my weaknesses nor He is ashamed to call me His own. God still use me. Back to my question of being stumbled by them, no, I am not shaken at all. I didn't think its okay to sin. And other people's sin is not exactly my concern because I am not in any position to rebuke them. God will deal with them by Himself and I should keep my eyes on myself. Focus on my own repentance and stop judging.Most importantly, I realized that God allows me to see those weaknesses because He wants me to know that even with weaknesses one can still serve God. He doesn't demand perfection from us. Moreover, if the one sharing the word is "perfect" then those who are listening might feel inferior and  thinks that God only works in certain types of people- the educated, the rich, the beautiful, the intelligent, the sinless. If God had make it that way, then where do weak humans like me find comfort from? 

In conclusion we must learn to see how the love and grace of God is manifested in His servant and their weaknesses because 

this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. John 9:3

John 4:13-14

Jesus answered , “ Everyone who drinks this water will be thirst again, but those whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

Jesus Christ is the spring of life, only He is able to quench the thirst of our spirit and satisfy it and to change every problem into blessings. The wellspring of Jesus is already in those who believe in Him. But the problem is do we allow the wellspring to flow continuously? What is this wellspring? This wellspring is like the Holy Spirit which needs to flow continuously. If it is stop ( stop hearing the word of God, the conviction of the Holy Spirit) we will eventually realize that our life would be dried up, we will feel as though we are lost. Our thoughts will also enter into disbelief, fearful, guilty, lacking, worried spirit and so on.

If a person does not allow the well spring to flow continuously, then Satan will come in to contaminate our thoughts, decision and etc then that person will start having doubts about his own identity. He will also misunderstand God’s words. When face with a problem, he will start to complain first and feel insecure. His spirit does not have the strength at all to face the daily challenges.

This is why sometimes believers feel fine for one minute then feel bad the next, or sometimes they  have the conviction but sometimes they don’t. This is because they do not maintain the continuous flow of the well spring.

To maintain the continuous flow, firstly, we must come before His throne of mercy with complete honesty. We should not hide ourselves. A lot of times, when we see our own weaknesses and sins, we feel extremely ashamed to face God followed by accusations, feeling guilty and unable to see His favour. Therefore, we are unable to come before God. When a person cannot face God, gradually he will develop misunderstanding in His words and later on he will be bounded by his own problems and does not have the strength to break free. What is the biggest area that Satan attacks in believer ? Satan makes us disobey God’s love in our relationship and His precious calling in us. So, do not be deceived by Satan. Our God is a merciful God, therefore He does not simply get angry even if He does His anger will not last. When we come before His throne of mercy with complete honesty, we will be able to hear His love and perfect will.

Secondly, in order to maintain the flow we must have confirmation. We must confirm that our lives belong to God, His love never changes, He will protect us and seek justice for us. When we have  a confirmed heart then only we are able to get rid of the fearful, worrisome and disbelief heart. Even though in our lives we  have struggles, hurts and conflicts but our God is the one who grants us peace. His peace is able to triumph over all the darkness. If we keep our fears within us then our decisions, view and thoughts will be shaken. But when we know God’s perfect timetable and His calling in us, then strength and courage will be upon us.

Thirdly, we must confirm the guidance of the Holy Spirit. If we do not confirm God’s daily guidance in every of our matter we won’t be able to keep up with the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit must first convict and guide us in the things we do. For example, if a person sees that the outcome of certain event is not very good and he starts to think of the solutions to solve it , then the power of the Holy Spirit cannot be shown fully. And in the end, it will only cause the person to be more stressed and disheartened. So do not rush before God but first we must confirm our blessed identity and His love for us and His calling in our lives. And use what we have confirmed to discover God’s perfect will in our problems and life. It is only through this that we can see the work of the Holy Spirit. This is what it meant by confirming the guidance of the Holy Spirit and continuously obey it.

So, the three points above is the mystery of maintaining the flow of the well spring. We have already have the eternal spring in our lives, when we drink from it we will never be thirsty anymore because we have tasted the love of Christ with His strength and victory. The most important thing is that we must allow the spring to flow continuously so that we can have joy and satisfaction forever. 

The Promise after Discipline

Our God is a Holy God, that's why He will definitely cleanse His people. Our God is also a merciful and loving God, therefore He will also save His people. When we (the people of God) sin, He will discipline us. His motive of disciplining us is to cleanse our hearts towards Him. Why does God allow the Israelites to be enslaved for 70 years, to endure all the oppression? Why is God so strict on His people? The holiness that God demands from His people is different from what the worldly people demands. Those people view holiness as good works, kindness, etc. But what God demands from His people is the same as what a husband demands from his wife -faithfulness. The same kind of faithfulness. God didn't only see the physical sin of His people but also their disbelief and unwillingness to rely on God ( they rely on the idols, the foreigners...). These are the sins of man and He is determined to remove it from them. 

When a person has the heart that purely loves God, he will posses all sorts of righteousness that far exceeds man's righteousness. However, when a man does not love God, he posses an evil heart.

So, God's discipline is a must. 

In the book of Jeremiah, God used the people of Babylon to discipline His people. In today's context, the Babylonians represent the powerful, wealthy, famous people in this world but they are only tools used by God. The people whom God loves is us, not those tools. So as soon as the heart of His people changes, He will punish the Babylonians ( the world). 

Jeremiah 50:18-20

18 This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: 

 I will punish the king of Babylon and his land as I punished the king of Assyria. 

Both Babylon and Assyria were destroyed and this is the truth.

Most importantly, we shouldn't harbor any grudges toward the people who did wrong to us. God will definitely resolve it. 

Secondly, God said the He will bring His people back to their own pasture. 

19 But I will bring Israel back to their own pasture verse, and they will graze on Carmel and Bashan; their appetite will be satisfied. 

It means that God wants to use His words to satisfy us. When we love the world and disobey God, we actually never feel satisfied. We chase after the worldly things that would only end up increasing our burdens. We always demand others of their love because we don't feel satisfied. We might have even gained a lot but those needs and desires don't seem to be satisfied. The only way for man to be truly satisfied is to be close to God's word. When a man cannot be satisfied or contented with God's word and unable to find joy in it, he can never be satisfied. The truth is there is no other things that can satisfy us. When the hearts of those who have been disciplined change to loving God's word again, they are protected. 

Lastly, God says that the Israelites will not have any sins anymore. 

20 In those days, at that time,'' declares the LORD, 'search will be made for Israel's guilt, but there will be none, and for the sins of Judah, but none will be found, for I will forgive the remnant I spare. 

What does this mean? Does it mean that we will never sin anymore?or we can do everything rightly from now on? No. It means that the people of God has got a heart of repentance. Those who realized that they are sinning and repent are without any sins anymore. On the other hand, if we still think that we are not wrong, then the sin remains. All those who are in Christ, we know our sins and are willing to repent so God sees us as without sin. 

And may we all see His greater love in His discipline.

When I first heard the message on Monday, I was a bit afraid. I know I have drifted away from God again and did many things which I am not supposed to. I was scared at the thought of being disciplined by God and I know He must discipline me because He is a righteous God. But when I restored the truth in me, I remembered the Fatherly love He has for me. Just like my dad, no matter how many times I hurt him, he will still forgive me. He knows that I feel bad  for uttering those hurtful words. So, He will add insult to injury by punishing me and say more hurtful things to me.  And in this message, I know how important it is to repent before God. It seems like the most natural thing to do for Christians but yet at times after I repent, the guilt still lingers in me and I feel as though that its not good enough. True enough that at times, there would be some consequences from our actions. 

But now I know that God sees me as without sin and I am protected when I truly repent. And again, its not about our works- what we can do to undo the mistakes or made it up by doing something extra. It's not karma. I thank God for the gift of Holy Spirit that would naturally prompt me to repent each time I sin and made be sensitive to sin. We have the desire to draw closer to God just that our flesh will try every way to stop us. We may get tempted and went to love the world for awhile but His love will always bring us back to Him. Even though that it may be through discipline at times but His grace and love will be suffice for us to go through it. Most importantly, His promise to us never changes. 

1 Samuel 16:17

Today is the first day of my last block. It means that after this block I will be sitting for my finals. And if everything goes well, I'll be a second year student in May. Well, just a quick update, I finally pass my test for the very first time. I wasn't too happy with it at first, not because I am ungrateful of the result. It it definitely beyond what I can possibly achieve on my own. I was just annoyed that  I have been praying about it for quite some time and didn't seem to get any answers. So I couldn't enjoy the happiness and joy of passing for the first time. By right I should be happier than a lot of people since I have been failing since the beginning. Well, I might as well say it out what I have been confirming. I really wasn't sure what I am expecting from God in order for me to really be convicted and sure of what I am have been praying for the past one month. You see, I do feel sad about not passing the past tests, being the very few who has been consistent in failing isn't really a good feeling. Even though I have His word with me, I still feel miserable and inferior at times.  And trust me, its really a helpless feeling that you wouldn't understand unless you have been in my shoes before. I hate the feeling being affected by it when something comes up but feel absolutely assured when everything is well. I want to be consistent in feeling assured.

Then one day, it hit me that my self esteem and confidence shouldn't be proportional to how well I do in my tests. I am a child of God and there is nothing to be inferior of. I shouldn't be too bothered about what people say behind my back nor feel stupid because I am ignored in the group. God will raise me up one day in His time. I am a Christ ambassador and surely He will not let others look down on His child. As I confirm day after day, I begin to have a clearer picture. So now, I am taking the passing as a sign that I have been confirming the right thing all these while. I was the only one who is concerned about my results, God's concern is never about how well or bad    I do. His only concern is in my relationship with me. God won't love me more just because I do better nor love me less just because I did badly. When I get our relationship right, everything else goes right too. 

The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

Last month, my sister moved to KL and I had mixed feelings about it. I was really uptight and worried because I feel that she is less independent, weaker, more emotional than I am. So, I thought I could prepare all the things I could for her. I thought I should help her get all the materials she might need for her course since she doesn't have a car here so transportation would be a problem. And I secretly prepared a friend for her just in case she needs help. I was more anxious and worried than her. 

Last two years when I was studying in PJ, I knew how inconvenient it was to have no transport. I know how it feels like to have meals all by yourself without any company. And how terrifying it is to be in a campus where you don't know anyone. The more I think of it, the scarier my imagination went. I thought since I went through all those situations that God put me in , I would be able to understand her needs therefore I should do what I can for her. I went overboard in my opinion. I got it all wrong. 

God didn't put me in those situations so that I can use my own experience to help her. God wants me to see how He has provided for me during those times. I remembered my first Physics lab, my friend and I didn't touch Physics since SPM so we are almost as good as clueless when it comes to the theory and all. I  was terrified at the thought of doing a Physics experiment after 2 years. God gave us so much grace that day, a lab assistant gave us the model that can be used straightaway (it was the sample used by the previous class). And we didn't have to set up anything, everyone has to look at ours so they could set up theirs. In that week itself, I had to go class alone and my fear turned to reality when we were asked to do a group discussion and I had no friends that time. God sent this course mate to ask to join them and from then on, I belonged to a group and we became good friends. And when I needed transport to class or to dinner, I have friends that I can ask for help. God prepared all these people around me to help me in times of need. God knows very well that I break down easily even at the smallest problem and how my fears empowered me sometimes. In the same way God has shown me His provisions, He will also do the same for my sister in His time and with His ways. Its time to let go and let God take charge and quit having unnecessary worries. In last week's sermon, it was mentioned that man loses peace because he fails to see that God is in control and that He allows the trials and situation we are in. And that was what I failed to see in the beginning - His provisions. 

God takes care of his own, even while they sleep Psalm 127:2

Blessed Birthday

It's my 21st birthday today. And this is the most blessed birthday. Twenty one years ago, on this day, a child of God was born.

In this birthday week, I did a continuous prayer from the week before on my studies. And I have decided that I will get baptized. It happened in one of those nights that I was doing my night prayer and the thought of baptism came up. So, I was thinking to myself, God has already showed me so many signs, things couldn't be more obvious. What stopped me from getting baptized was my mum. I know that she wouldn't agree on that. It's not because I am afraid that she would disown me. Its just that I don't want her to be unhappy. Things have just started going well and I don't want to spoil anything about it. And also, I am not convicted to get baptized, when I first accepted Christ, I did thought of it but because of my mum's on and off hints on her disapproval of  me getting baptized, somehow the subject just drop off. Last year, a group of Christian came to my house in PJ at one night and I did their survey and listened to what they have to say ( I just thought that I should help my dear Christians sisters and brothers since it was just answering some questions). One of them asked if I am baptized and said that if I am not, I won't be in heaven. Obviously, I was a little offended. I know I will be heaven if I die the next day without being baptized. I told him baptism is just a ritual and I even told him about the criminal next to Jesus ( he wasn't baptized and Jesus told him that he will see him in paradise). He quote some bible verses and said look there's water, be baptized and he literally pointed at the drain outside the house. It gave me all the more reason to not be baptized- its just the defiant spirit in me. Then recently, God gave me a lot of hints and the occasional pokes make me think about baptism again. First, I was asked if I want to get baptized by a church member. Second was I went to church with my dad when I was in Penang, I didn't want to follow him but somehow the Holy Spirit lead me there and the sermon was on baptism. The preacher ( who was my former form teacher ) said that baptism is not necessary for salvation but rather, salvation is necessary for baptism. And he mentioned that those who are not baptized are at most a spiritual baby. Even though God has make it so clear to me, I still don't feel convicted enough. I feel that if I decide to be baptized then it would be for wrong reasons because clearly, I do not want to remain as a spiritual baby and I am doing it just to shut people up. After praying a few times, I forgot completely about it. Then, my pastor out of the blues came to me and asked me to get baptized for a couple of times. That night, I remembered about baptism and told God that I want to be baptized. And I have peace.

In one of the message I received in my Emmanuel group, it says that when we are fighting a spiritual war, we must listen to our hearts, the Holy Spirit within us and not our minds. With our minds, we tend to analyze the situation, we weigh the pros and cons, we think of the possible outcomes and naturally fears come in as well. Most of the time, there isn't much thinking required and in my case, God's perfect will is already very obvious. If I would to continue analyzing it, gradually more ridiculous excuses will appear. Most importantly, people fall because they don't have a listening heart not because they are not pious enough. In everything that we do it is important to listen to our Lord first and its never about doing first.

ps: drafted this on my birthday last month. Will update my blog soon. Stay tune <3 nbsp="nbsp">