Everyone of us is a sinner with many different weaknesses. This is a plain truth that I know long ago. Yet, I couldn't help it that I often magnified those sins and weaknesses I see in those sharing the word or just anyone that I think should be more spiritual than I do. Do not get me wrong, I am not expecting those people to be perfect and all holy moly. I just thought, they should behave more -decently or appropriately? I do not know the exact word for it. Maybe deep down inside me I just feel that they should be as close to being perfect and sinless as possible. I always wish to see perfection in them. I want to see them obeying the laws and every word. To set themselves as a good example for people like me. I expect a lot from those whom I look up to. And each time I see their weaknesses, I judged. I feel bad after that but still can't seem to shake off those thoughts.
I do not understand why God allow me to see them in their weaknesses. Isn't God afraid that they might stumble me with their actions? I could have taken it the wrong way- like perhaps, since God didn't discipline them and they are still doing very well in their lives, so I guess its okay to sin like that. I am not perfect. I sin everyday, I struggle daily with it. I fight, give up than gave in to my sins. Not exactly a good Christ ambassador and neither very glorifying as a child of God. I am very much confused at God. Is God closing an eye at their sins?
No. My carnal eyes have asked me to see what all man sees. Man sees other's sin and judged. And when they share God's word, man disqualify them from sharing because of the sins they have committed whether in the past or present. But who are we to judge others when we are sinners ourselves? Please do not weigh the sins and justify it with our fallen mind and point fingers at those whom you think have committed a greater sin than you do, all these make no sense at all. There is no such thing as small sin or big sin. Stealing is not less sinful than committing murder or adultery.
Our God is holy God, He does not tolerate sin. But He is also a merciful God and His grace far exceeds our sins.
For sin shall no longer be your master,because you are not under the law,but under grace.
Romans 6:14
Love covers all wrong
Proverbs 10:12
I am sinning just like them but that didn't change God's love for me. He didn't disown me because of my weaknesses nor He is ashamed to call me His own. God still use me. Back to my question of being stumbled by them, no, I am not shaken at all. I didn't think its okay to sin. And other people's sin is not exactly my concern because I am not in any position to rebuke them. God will deal with them by Himself and I should keep my eyes on myself. Focus on my own repentance and stop judging.Most importantly, I realized that God allows me to see those weaknesses because He wants me to know that even with weaknesses one can still serve God. He doesn't demand perfection from us. Moreover, if the one sharing the word is "perfect" then those who are listening might feel inferior and thinks that God only works in certain types of people- the educated, the rich, the beautiful, the intelligent, the sinless. If God had make it that way, then where do weak humans like me find comfort from?
In conclusion we must learn to see how the love and grace of God is manifested in His servant and their weaknesses because
this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. John 9:3
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