Hi, I'm back after the long break from blogging. I am sorry if you have been waiting to hear from me. I am going to make a short post on the message I heard last month and I would like to share my joy and the truth I have received with you.
God has put the most important plan in all our conditions
Since we are called to be blessed, all our conditions in our lives are part of God's plan. Therefore, all our conditions are different and that also include our state of helplessness. Firstly, God came to find us and to give us His covenant. In order to fulfill the covenant, God has given us different conditions or situations. So do not be despair, inferior nor proud because our conditions are given by God. The ultimate purpose is to fulfill His covenant.
On the contrary, if we strive hard to do something for God and end up getting accused then it is not right and its definitely not what God has intended for us.
Samuel 1:6-8 Satan uses our weaknesses, failures to attack us like how Hannah was attacked by her rival. Just like Hannah, all our conditions are good but because of the one and only weaknesses we have, we are unable to be set free.
The part of us that caused the most hurt in us actually has God's perfect plan. ( Samuel 1:10-11). Hannah made this prayer because she understands that she firstborn do not belong to her. A son was given to her not because she is good or kindhearted. But because Hannah has understood God's heart. She saw that the Israelite has sinned against God. She has understood God's will and was set free after that. Remember that the covenant comes before our conditions. First, we must adopt a thanksgiving/ grateful heart then we'll have a different perspective. Even if at times we do not understand His will, we must always be assured of His love for us. Our problems, situations and conditions are meant to be a source of blessings.
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I am like Hannah. I have good conditions/qualities but by that I do not mean that I live a problem free life nor I am really wealthy and academically bright. I am from a middle class family, even though my parents are divorced I give thanks that both of my parents are still alive and they really love me. I am not deprived of essential needs- I have enough to eat, a roof over my head, studying my dream course, attending a good church, enjoying brethren living and I have God always by my side.
Just like Hannah, there is this one thing that has been bothering me. If you have been reading my blog, you'll know that I have been failing my tests and I failed my semester test again. I can give thanks for a lot of things that God has prepared for me, only when it comes to studies, I struggled to find reasons to give thanks for. When exam is near, I get uptight and all stressed out. It got worse during the last tests due to the accumulative fears and repeated failures. I have not mentioned before that I am a very slow learner. I take longer time to register the information that was fed to me than average human . Sometimes I feel like my brain just choose to shut down by itself. Its like I have no control over it.
Anyway, back to the message. I heard this message on the first day of my test. And I can immediately relate. My repeated failure whether I want to acknowledge it or not, it bothers me especially when I have to prepare for the next test.
Faith is build on repeated evidences, when you continually see how God leads you, you naturally grow stronger in faith. However, mine was a repeated failure. So it naturally freaks me out whenever I face a test. Satan comes and says, " Look , you have been failing again and again. Each time you think the next time is going to be different, you get the same old outcome.Your God failed you". Instead of growing in faith, mine shrunk bit by bit when exam is around the corner. I managed to shake off those thoughts at times but it never goes away completely. It whispers to me, interrupts my dreams, ruins my appetite, spoils my day, etc. The message make me realize that in my failure, God has a perfect plan for me.
I am also an inferior person, I compare easily, I cry easily, I get scared easily, I am over sensitive at times, I get discouraged easily, I have a long lists of weaknesses.
What I fail in is my prayer.
I realized that I give up too easily when I do not receive the answer, I become lazy to confirm the truth. So, I sort of did a half ass job when it comes to confirming and no surprise that I still have not receive the solid answer.
I come to a conclusion: I am specially made by God, carefully crafted with my weaknesses so that His great works can be done through me. My next step is to be diligent in prayer and hold on tightly to the covenant. The hardest part of confirming is being diligent. It requires a certain degree of self discipline. But once you get your gears running, prayer would be something you look forward to everyday.
